ANINERGY

365 ways to energize – a daily companion to living with health, purpose, and joy


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One way to keep romance alive

Day 153
Celebrating lasting love

My husband and I have for the third time celebrated our friends’ marriage with a big party. The 1st time was when they got married the 3rd of June 1995.

The second time, when we celebrated their 10-year anniversary the 3rd of June 2005, and today 20 years later have we celebrated their love for each other once again.

Day 153dI think it is a beautiful commitment that our friends made to one other when they agreed to renew their vows with the same wedding guests every 10 years. It is for sure a great achievement to live with love year after year, and stay with one another and endure and work through tough and challenging years.

day 153cMost marriages are full of love, hopes and excitement initially. More than fifty percent eventually ends with the opposite emotions and in divorce.

What goes wrong…?

What if more couples decided to celebrate their love and anniversary in a more engaged way? Would fewer couple take each other for granted? Would more marriages be happy and survive?

Day 153e


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How sweet it is to be loved by you

Day 141How sweet it is to be loved by you

I have a lot to celebrate today and even this year.

Today May 22,nd is the 22nd wedding anniversary for my husband and I.

We have been a couple for 25 years – so a quarter of a century this year.

I have spent More than 1/2 of my life with my husband.

This year, it is also 30 years since I left Norway and became an adventurous expat.

My recipe for living in a happy, loving, and fulfilling relationship:

  1. Being real with one another
  2. Speaking our truth
  3. Sharing things with one another that feels heavy in our heart.
  4. Supporting one another.
  5. Taking responsibility for our own happiness
  6. Taking responsibility for our own growth and development
  7. Praising one another
  8. Showing and expressing gratitude towards each other
  9. Consciously giving the love our partner long for to feel loved.
  10. Understanding that intimacy and connection is of primary importance in our relationship when having a conflict and argument – not that of being right or bright.
  11. Having understood that love is a verb. Love is engaging in kind actions, which brings about feeling love for the other.
  12. Giving one another freedom to be ourself and to do our own things (from time to time).
  13. Family meals
  14. Quality one on one time almost every day.
  15. Spending a romantic weekend away at least ones per year.
  16. Dancing together
  17. Sharing positive experiences together and also sharing the family work-load
  18. Intentionally being positive and uplifting towards one another.
  19. Having the heart to say, “I am sorry.”
  20. Warm hugs, sex and physical touch.
  21. Being happy, proud and grateful for one another and for what we got.


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Married to probably the best husband in the world!

Day 92Marriage works if we do the work

Today is my wonderful husbands’ birthday, and I think he probably is the best husband in the world. He for sure is the best husband for me.

What about you? Do you also feel that you are married to the best husband or wife in the world? I hope so! If you do not feel that way, perhaps you can make him or her into the best one….Do you think that is possible…?

My husband and I have been together for 25 years this year and we are becoming closer as each year goes by. We love each others company, our communication is open, honest and smooth (most of the time), and we are more generous and giving towards each another than possibly ever before.

Our relationship has however not always been a dance on roses. We both have learned and realized that a healthy nurturing relationship requires time and can sometimes feel like hard work. It has taken us years to find our way and come to this level of profound loving connection. Even though we have had bumps on the way, we have both been committed to our marriage and have believed that we can work things out.

Most of us that go into a marriage have high hopes and beliefs in true love. However, according to research, only a minority of those marriages that last beyond the initial romantic stage (1-2 years) experience real deep love – many that stay together throughout life end up living parallel lives or simply endure.

When I got married I knew that most couples were not truly happy and that it was part of life. I also did not believe that the grass was greener on the other side. I accepted that marriage was going to be tough at times and I had no rosy expectations. I did not believe in the happy ever after story.

It has therefore been a positive surprise that we have managed to make our marriage work so well and that our relationship is as rewarding as it is. I am deeply grateful and happy for the fine relationship we have, the true love we feel, and for how amazingly rewarding it is to spend time with my dear husband (who by the way is maturing and just getting better for each year – I hope he would say the same about me).

If we are not mature when we enter into a marriage, but we last and feel happy and fulfilled in the relationship, these are clear signs that we have matured. That is what marriage can do to us. Without a willingness to grow, adapt and change a little to accommodate our partner, we will never experience the richness and reward that marriage can bring.

To arrive to the feeling that my husband probably is the best in the world has taken some time for me (after those initial years of passion…). Not to change him, but to truly appreciate him for who he is and all his amazing talents and gifts. He is an extraordinary man that I respect and value deeply. During our first years, after the initial romantic stage had passed, I was more frustrated about his weaknesses and what he was not, rather than being grateful for the great guy he was. How fun is it to live with someone who points out your weaknesses…?

What fills your up mostly about your spouse, his or her strengths or their weaknesses?