ANINERGY

365 ways to energize – a daily companion to living with health, purpose, and joy


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One way to keep romance alive

Day 153
Celebrating lasting love

My husband and I have for the third time celebrated our friends’ marriage with a big party. The 1st time was when they got married the 3rd of June 1995.

The second time, when we celebrated their 10-year anniversary the 3rd of June 2005, and today 20 years later have we celebrated their love for each other once again.

Day 153dI think it is a beautiful commitment that our friends made to one other when they agreed to renew their vows with the same wedding guests every 10 years. It is for sure a great achievement to live with love year after year, and stay with one another and endure and work through tough and challenging years.

day 153cMost marriages are full of love, hopes and excitement initially. More than fifty percent eventually ends with the opposite emotions and in divorce.

What goes wrong…?

What if more couples decided to celebrate their love and anniversary in a more engaged way? Would fewer couple take each other for granted? Would more marriages be happy and survive?

Day 153e


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What do you do when you are bored?

Day 152How and when does boredom arise?

When a person has more energy and time – than engaging things to do.

Do you sometimes feel bored? There are for sure many students on school vacation and even graduate students that are feeling bored right now, unless they are vacationing with friends, have found a summer job, or something that feels meaningful for them to do.

A student’s life is most often completely packed with schoolwork (which also many think is boring) and extra curricular activities. When the daily routine is gone, and nothing is scheduled, many free students do not know what to do with themselves and their time, unless they are engaged in sports, or some hobby. Not only students feel this way…. many people who regularly are working long hours have a hard time doing nothing, or too little during their vacations.

To be bored can feel painful and like a real energy drainer, which is why most people get busy occupying themselves doing something, and sometimes mindless things, which are not necessarily fulfilling. To hang out with friends, shop, watch movies, listen to music and party are activities that most people default to, to avoid the void. There is nothing wrong with those activities, but done in excess, or as a Band-Aid, will not give true fulfillment. There may always be an undertone of boredom during these types of activities.

How about hanging out and allowing ourselves to be ok with emptiness and ask ourselves some good questions when we feel little bored? I wonder what impact this would have… Does perhaps boredom stimulate creativity?

PS The men in the picture perhaps seems to have nothing compared to many of us, but I hardly believe they often feel bored. Why…?


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Taking off on too much coffee

DAy 151The mystery of indulgence

For those of you who have followed me for a while; you know that I took a sabbatical from any stimulants such as coffee, tea with caffeine and alcohol for two weeks.

It was – surprisingly – not hard to take this break and it did me really well. I noticed a shift in my sense of inner calmness, and I enjoyed my own company feeling wholesome. My energy level was good, despite not having any stimulants.

I reintroduced the stimulants again a week ago and have chosen to consume smaller doses of tea and alcohol to maintain the calm sensation. I normally do not drink much coffee as it often makes me a bit too wired.

I woke up feeling very tired from lack of sleep and since I had an unusually hectic program today with several meetings among them one long four-hour meeting as well as close to five-hours of driving, plus some important and pressing decisions to make, I felt inclined to have a cup of coffee to get me started. It did me well, so I went for another cup very shortly thereafter. When that cup also felt ok, I even went for a third cup after lunch and I can tell you, that this was not a very good idea. To drink that much coffee – for someone like me who only drink coffee from time to time, it meant going into a spin that felt horrible.

What was I thinking? Well, that’s it. I wasn’t really thinking. Was I avoiding something? Perhaps… It is known that pain lies at the bottom of any addiction, and that self-indulgence goes hand in hand with addiction. Was I hoping for a different outcome than what I was used to having in the past…? Isn’t that the sign of insanity, to make the same mistake all over again expecting a different outcome, according to Einstein? As I took the third cup I knew I was playing with fire, but I decided to go for it and deal with the consequences later.

Looking back at it now, I cannot understand what came over me. Why did I let myself loose connection with my body and mind and allow myself to indulge this way? What happened to my usual strong willpower?

When we do not get off to a good start in the morning or something challenging happens during the day, it can be easy to get off balance. If we don’t stop and connect with ourselves, but instead keep making wobbly steps, we will keep on going further off balance – instead of what we really need, which is to be gentle and kind to ourselves by bringing us back to balance and a state of wellbeing.

What effect does coffee and other stimulants have on you? Do you sometimes indulge instead of looking at your fear or pain?


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Geneva is a great place to ‘leave.’

Day 147Less than 24-hour travel-dive – my new thing.

We jokingly say, “Geneva is such a great place to leave”. And it is true that, in addition to it being ranked this year as the city with the highest quality of living in the world, Geneva has another advantage, it is in the middle of Europe, which makes it so easy to – leave – and feasible to make quick trips to other places in Europe within an hour or two, either by car, train, or plane. Since Geneva is a quiet and small city, I find that leaving this little place from time to time and get a dose of some energy and pulse is very refreshing.

It is not always feasible, nor desirable, to be away for several days when traveling. Traveling often eats up a lot of time and it is easy to loose momentum with the projects one has going. That is why I decided to only do a 20-hour trip to visit a good old friend who has taken a sabbatical year in Paris from her hectic and busy life in Stockholm. She has lived in Paris with two of her children. This was a creative and courageous decision, and the year has offered her and her children tremendous value.

I spent 20 hours only in Paris, and I feel energized and inspired by this quick dive into my friend’s world in this mesmerizing city. I arrived yesterday in time to share a lovely lunch with her and another Parisian friend. We sat outside in a courtyard and had a glass of rosé and agreed, “this is life” – to have this opportunity to sip rosé on a Wednesday in lovely sunshine and eat a delicious French meal in Paris.

It might sound like too hectic to be away only 20 hours, but we truly spent quality time together (and I worked both on my way there and back, so I did not loose any time). One of the fun highlights was that we exercised with a fantastic personal trainer in a nearby park, which was filled with lots of people. It was great fun to be amongst all the local Parisians who were running and exercising or just lying around in the grass. We ate a delicious dinner outside in the courtyard/terrace at Costes, (we Scandinavians are very fan of eating outside when possible, for obvious reasons) a beautiful restaurant with super food, interesting people and an almost mystical ambiance, (rare to find in Geneva).

I had a good night sleep in my friend’s lovely apartment and even had time for a nice chat at breakfast before taking a 40 min flight back.

Short trips can quickly give you inspiration and energy, and can easily, and maybe even preferably, be done alone.

“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.” St. Augustine


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The weight of your thoughts

DAy 146One day quite soon, I believe that we will be able to measure the weight of our thoughts; the things we talk about and the impact it has on us.

Science is great at measuring the impact of unhealthy living habits, such as stress, eating unhealthy processed food, too much sugar, hydrogenic oils, smoking, drinking too much alcohol etc., but to my knowledge the impact of our thoughts and chosen words and it’s impact on our mental, emotional and physical wellbeing, has not yet been measured scientifically. I think that when scientific studies get publicized around this topic, then humanity will have a chance to make a leap in consciousness and human potential.

If people only knew how negative thinking, moaning and groaning and negative talk impact their energy and wellbeing, they would get scared, and begin to rethink and more carefully chose what thoughts and subjects that dwell in their mind.

I am convinced that negative thinking is as deadly for us as negative physical living habits. This could be negative thoughts about ourselves, our life situation, or about someone else.

Pay attention to your energy level next time you have a negative thought! Notice how light versus heavy you feel. Notice how powerful versus powerless you feel. Notice how happy and peaceful you feel as you are thinking those negative thoughts.

Heighten your awareness also around the things that you talk about with others, either directly to them or about others behind their backs. How light or heavy do your body and mind feel while and after having been critical and negative?


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PMS & PMDD

DAy 145Hormonal mood swings can turn a woman very emotional and, in some cases, into an angry bitch.

I have for the last few days been writing about relationships, intimacy and love, and yesterday’s blog was about being a bitch – which jeopardizes many relationships.

What I did not mention in yesterday’s blog was that many women suffer from PMS or even worse, Premenstrual dysphoric disorder, PMDD. Those with PMDD can experience dreadful mood swings, which can last for as long as up to two weeks per month – puh – as PMS can begin 10 days before a period and last a few days into the period.

Most women do feel that their mood changes with PMS. Many feel that it is not their fault if they turn into a mini bitch or even a super bitch during their PMS. It is true that women truly have to deal with tough challenges with their PMS and period every month, but is this ‘an OK excuse’ to act out and behave badly? Is it possible to be more in control of ones emotions? And is there something that can be done to ease the hormonal roller coaster?

First of all, there are things women can do to alter their life style that can have a major impact on their wellbeing. Exercising can help a lot, as well as finding out which type of food that nurtures them the best. For some, eating small portions of carbohydrates throughout the day can help. Also taking supplements of Vitamin B-6, magnesium and L-tryptophan may help. Some take birth-control pills to regulate their hormones and in more severe cases, prescription drugs might be needed.

I also think that mediation and mindfulness can help to bring an awareness of ones emotions and provide opportunities to make conscious choices in the emotional responses. A committed willingness to be our best self, and consciously think and be positive, instead of giving in to our immediate emotions and acting them out, both strengthens our character and can ease the mood swings.


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Day 144 – Are you a bitch…, or know someone who is…?

Hi! I am Anine and I love to optimize my energy and support you in optimizing yours.

Day 144What is the single most unattractive and demoralizing, anti-kind act we woman can engage in; and which also impacts marriages negatively?

I think most men will say – being bitchy.

Girls can at a young age, even as early as 10 years old become sassy and snazzy, to a degree that can feel very hurtful to others. Some girls can be vicious towards girls and boys that are sensitive and not strong enough to stand up for themselves.

Many girls can be mean, bitchy and competitive towards each other until their forties. By then they may have matured, and feel more secure in themselves and in who they are. And finally by then, they may have made the realization that they gain nothing by being bitchy.

What is it about women that make them seem entitled to be bitchy?

I think that it is partly related to how some women’s mind work when they are not aware of insecure emotions and are unable to articulate feelings and desires. Perhaps women’s innate reaction is to become bitchy when men instead act aggressive.

So how does this bitching come about in little girls? I think it is partly genetic and it begins when girls begin to realize that they are in competition to “win” boys. This is an unconscious realization, as strange as it may sound to realize something and yet be unconscious. Even though they might not even “win” the boys, they still behave in a bitchy way towards the girls that they perceive as prettier, or more cool than them, as they subconsciously believe that they will feel better and maybe even succeed in deflating the pretty girls. How completely wrong they are!

A girl can maintain her bitchiness, even if they win the boy/man, and turn the same energy towards him, perhaps subconsciously saying that he should not take her for granted – because “this queen bitch” might very well find another man. Being bitchy is a an unwritten entitlement women give themselves as a way to control people around them, making sure others are not feeling too strong about themselves and thereby not posing a threat.

Not all girls behave like this of course. Not the ones that have healthy role models and those that receive feedback from their environment that it is unacceptable and that they will lose with this type of behavior.

This character trait of being bitchy is something most men detest and are allergic to in women. In a man’s world, you just don’t sneer at someone and put them down for no good reason. Men do not scan each other’s outfits and look with critical eyes – they do not look up and down at their friends and evaluate how they are dressed, how much makeup they have on or how their hair is done. Men are buddies and they focus on having fun, playing and talking sports, joking, developing themselves and generally supporting one another, rather than being in competition.

Many women complain about their men, and it can go something like this: They are difficult to talk to. They are poor listeners. They are simple and not very deep (and therefore uninteresting). They think too highly of themselves. They are unwilling to do any form of work on themselves and grow emotionally. They are egocentric and think they should be exempt from sharing the work at home with children and all, and they behave like they are entitled to have more free time than their wife/partner.

Men have often one major complaint about women and that is that their woman can be bitchy.

Girls got plenty to learn from men. Imagine what women lose by acting this way, and how many people who have been negatively impacted because of bitching?