It is wonderful to spend time with people when it clicks – when we connect and feel enriched by the encounter; when we perceive that each one of us magnifies the other person’s experience. These people have the capacity to make us feel alive. Then there are people that leave us drained and others that make no impact or difference to us.
We do not connect with everyone we encounter (or even have the capacity for that). To simplify, let us put people into three groups. Some people seem to take our energy; they contribute to create the following equation; 1+1 = -2 or less. Perhaps this is when we meet people who seem to talk most of the time, who are not listening, or have a tendency to put themselves above or below us. . It can also simply be people we have nothing in common with. After these meetings we might feel a bit drained of energy.
There are some people we meet where the equation looks like 1+1 = 1. Basically we do not feel touched by the encounter. It was ok to meet but nothing in the exchange impacted us. One departs from this meeting without any real output or impact.
Finally there are people who make a whole different impact; where 1+1 = 3 or more. There is enthusiasm, and perhaps a passionate exchange where we feel we learn from one another. There is no pretention. Perhaps we share the same passions and values, we ‘talk the same language,’ and both are eager to be givers. In this synergetic exchange and connection there is openness, and a heart-to-heart, soul-to-soul connection. After this type of enriching connection, we walk away feeling touched, energetic and alive.
It is healthy to keep company with people who add to our lives – those who touch us. We also need to accept that we just don’t click with everyone. And we would benefit from eliminate spending time with people who deplete our energy, or where value is not being added for anyone of us.