The psychology behind this is quite simple; there is a very primal survival mechanism in us that is operating to protect us. The reptile or most primitive part of the brain instinctively attempts to keep us safe from possible danger.
Most often though, other people’s differences poses absolutely no threat to us, so why do we complain and criticize? In my opinion, we do this because we are unaware of what we are doing, and why we are being critical and the impact it has on ourselves as well as others.
I think Bob Marley said it well; “Who are you to judge the life I live? I am not perfect and I don’t have to be! Before you start pointing fingers make sure your hands are clean.”
Think about last time you had a negative thought about someone. When was it?
Ask yourself, how being critical helped you? What difference to your life did it make to put someone else down?
When we are not aware – we associate being different with not being as good as, or with being less valuable than us. Isn’t that really being quite arrogant though?
There is nothing wrong with wanting to belong to a tribe that makes you feel strong, but let’s not judge those that don’t belong to this group. Why?
There are many reasons, but one of the most important motivators, is that being critical of others is an energy drain. Not only can it deflate the people you criticize – it sucks the energy out of you!
Why not pay attention next time you think a negative thought about another – how it impacts you!? Turn the headlights towards yourself like Carl Jung recommends – “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
From now on, instead of criticizing and complaining, let’s celebrate diversity and live with high energy.
“Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.” H. Jackson Brown Jr.